MST3K Fic: The Persistance of Future Memories

[twincityhacker]

Title: Persistance of Future Memories
Fandom: MST3K
Characters: Dr. Laurence Erdnht, Professor Bobo
Prompt: Slate, Circle
Word Count: 1191
Rating: PG
Author's Notes: Cannon. ish.

Dr. Laurence Erhardt really hated hippos. They were nasty, smelly beasts that did nothing but sleep and defecate. A lot like his bosses, actually. If his bosses were hippos, it would explain so much in his life. Like why the zoo he worked at was possibly the only one in the country that did not use biological agents to do some of the maintenance, like fish, and instead employed human labor to do everything. Like, as he zipped up his wet suit, clean hippo tanks.

With a sigh, he plunged into the water and started to scrub. When he was ruler of the world, he was going to make the managers clean out cages for twenty years. As he accidentally put his hand in a particularity large chunk, maybe even longer. He wondered if the dead could scrub tanks.

But when ever he got onto the topic of the management, he couldn’t but think of his students. Or, at least, the student’s he was supposed to have. When he was marginally hired on, he was supposed to be teaching other humans about cross-species communication.

Apparently, he couldn’t communicate with the management, since his students considered of a few Mandrills and one very dull-witted lowland Gorilla and his job was to get them to try to sign.

Of course, since they all understood each other perfectly fine, the fact that most of the humans around seemed incapable of understanding a word that they said was irrelevant.

But, his little learning sessions were excellent times to catchup on his gossip with one of the other “teachers.” The most interesting piece that he had heard lately was that one of the latest arrivals to the gorilla exhibit was involved in a involuntary testing ring, and was laying low here until things died down. Dr. E hoped he would able to speak to the previous owner of the gorilla, if he or she came back to pick up their animal.

Dr. E was so wrapped up in thinking of the latest gossip in the primate troops, he was surprised that he had finished his unsavory task. Now smelling of hippo scat and putrid water, Dr. E decided to take a shortcut though one of the gorilla enclosures to get to one of his research stations that he had to teach his “students” in the zoo. While in most cases they were completely useless, it was nice to be able to change clothes if he happened to get covered in animal excrement.

As he snapped open the case he carefully took out a pair of long handled pruning shears and set it next to him. While the enclosure was supposed to be empty, it wouldn’t be the first time that one of the residents of the area managed to pop the locks and go out for a nighttime stroll. And those who did do a walkabout were usually the most territorial of the troop.

He looked around the exhibit trying to figure out where the mysterious voice had come from. The only other being in sight was the new silverback. This was not good, Dr. E thought to himself.

“Uh, hello?”

The gorilla turned and knuckle walked towards where the scientist was standing. Pruning shears forgotten, Dr. Erhardt backed towards the enclosure door. “Nice gorilla... good gorilla...” he mumbled as he fumbled for the doors handle.

Suddenly, the gorilla stood up on his hind legs, and politely asked, “You wouldn’t happen to have a extra peanut butter sandwich on you?”

“...Peanut butter?” the human shuddered.

“Yes. Ham. I could smell it when it was inside of the case. Now, do you have a spare or am I out of luck?”

Dr, E reached into the case and pulled out the sandwich. “Here! Please don’t hurt me!”

“Hurt you?” The ape continued. “”What do you think I am, some sort of Barbarian! I’m the son of Koko nd from a proud linage of Frodo, Gogo and Chim-chim! And...” he silverback looked down to where the other being had puled himself into the fetal position on the floor, “and I don’t hurt people, or at least, not anymore.”

Dr. E packed from behind his fingers. “You’re not going to hurt me?”

“No. But I will take this sandwich you kindly offered me.” He said, quickly devouring the foodstuff. “Now, I believe we have not been properly introduced. My name is Professor Bobo, and yours would be?”

“Dr. Laurence Erhardt.” he said warily.

“Ah! So we are both creatures of science. I am most glad to have you acquaintance, doctor.”

“Likewise?” the human sat up.

“If you don’t mind me asking, why were you so afraid of myself earlier? I thought you were a regular visitor to this area?” Bobo gestured around the surrounding enclosure.

“The word on the street says you were a pretty nasty character.”

“Oh, nothing of the sort.”

“So you weren’t one of the involved with involuntary subjects?”

“I was, actually, but I don’t do that sort of thing anymore.

“Really? What was it like?” Dr. E asked eagerly.

“Well, I suppose I could.”

“Please do.”

“While I was one of the experimenters, I did not originate the idea. The true honor of creating the experiment was that of the Lawgiver.”

“The Lawgiver?”

“She who hands down ape-law, and by her laws we are separated from the lowly beasts in the fields.”

“I see.”

“Yes, well, it was her idea to have a man trapped up in space, and to show bad movies to drive him insane. When the movie is shown to drive the man mad, she would have the information necessary to take over the universe.”

The doctor looked at the professor quizzically, “Why would a bad movie do that?”

Professor Bobo shrugged. “It was not our place to question her motives, she was the Lawgiver and knew many more things than us mere mortals.

“Hm.” the human pondered for a moment. “How far was she from completing her goal?”

“She was on the verge of success, I’m sure of it!”

“But if she was so close to achieving her goal, why give up on it?”

“Obviously, the she saw that the world was not ready yet for her wisdom and retired to her desert kingdom until it is ready for her.”

Dr. E hurriedly left the enclose, making sure that he left the doors opened enough so that the Professor could escape, to his office in one of the maintenance shacks. Eagerly, he flipped though one of the circular folders until he found a manila envelope. Opening it, he slid out the papers. As he quickly signed both his already-typed letters of resignation and acceptance for an employment contract with Gizmonic Institute.

Yes, the future was looking bright – for Dr. Laurence Erhardt.